Why am I doing this? Ramblings by Rocky
I want to learn or so I told myself, who am I kidding? I am not a scholar, could never be one. I loved learning at first but now its beginning to overwhelm me. I want to work, but all the work that I am qualified for sounds horrible, so I continue to learn. Where is the end? Its no where near, I can tell that much for sure. Am I too old for this? I know of older students than me. I can't talk like the other students talk, I don't have any confident answers to offer. These are the thoughts that have been rumbling around in my head all day. I'm tired today.

Birthday party happenings that continue to make me smile.
1.The way Annie hugged Zach as he was opening the b-day gift that she had picked out for him.
2.The way Seth was almost pulsating with joy as he helped Zach open his gifts.
3.The way that Shawn patiently tried to restrain his brother Seth's pulsating joy, so that it wasn't too overwhelming.
4.Megan and any interaction that she has with the younger kids as she tries to stay aloof while being loving towards them at the same time.
5.Kirsty's home-made skateboard cake for her son.
6.Zach, Thomas, Shawn, and Seth screaming at the top of their lungs while beating each other up on Super Mario Smash Bro's.
7.Uncle Dickie and Little Scottie hiding dominos from each other.
8. Families enjoying each other as they celebrate together........It was a great night.

Nobody Knows
I am a large person, and have been for most of my life. I worked hard to lose some of myself but have been at a standstill for some time now. When I talk about myself and my size with my nieces and nephews and various other small children I like to joke about how squishy I am or how fun it is to poke my "blub" as I lovingly refer to my side fat. They laugh hysterically and so do I as they continue to see if they can hide their whole fingers in my squishyness. I have been reprimanded more than once for referring to myself as fat or for calling my side fat by a nick name. I don't see why this should be an issue as long as I am ok with it all. Now I am not ok with weighing too much and will continue with my attempts to shrink my size but, in the meantime lets all just be ok with whatever name we should so choose for our bodies. Its all mine, I might as well enjoy the good parts ...like making the kids giggle.