Silence

I was faithful beyond comprehension to a man who could care less about me.

I rooted this faithfulness on the words that he said to me, he knew what to say to keep me hanging on even when there was nothing whatsoever left to hang on to.

This is because I am scared of silence, I always have been. There is too much unknowing in silence. Something will spring out of it if it’s not filled and soon. That is what I have always thought. It’s deep seeded in me and I know where it comes from but what good has that done me???

I am trying today to find peace in the silence, the void, because I believe that is truly what I’ve been afraid of for so long. The peace that is offered, I’m not good enough for it somehow.

Tree Trimming

Last night, Megan and I set up our little white Christmas tree while we watched the cartoon version of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. We hung our stockings and reminisced over where we got the ornaments as we hung them. There is something so comforting in the tradition. A tangible tie to all the Christmases that have past.
It's also a hard time because of the divorce, we always find ornaments that remind us of the separation from the Christmases that have past. This year we didn't sort through the ones from many years gone by just they ones from our past here in Texas.
We enjoyed each other, admired our tree, and yelled at the cat so that she would stay off our tree. It was a nice night.

Thank you, God.