I was faithful beyond comprehension to a man who could care less about me.
I rooted this faithfulness on the words that he said to me, he knew what to say to keep me hanging on even when there was nothing whatsoever left to hang on to.
This is because I am scared of silence, I always have been. There is too much unknowing in silence. Something will spring out of it if it’s not filled and soon. That is what I have always thought. It’s deep seeded in me and I know where it comes from but what good has that done me???
I am trying today to find peace in the silence, the void, because I believe that is truly what I’ve been afraid of for so long. The peace that is offered, I’m not good enough for it somehow.
4 comments:
Rocky I have no words, but I feel every thing you expressed. sooner or later The Lord will give you the peace. Love you bunch.Lety
I love that you are still in touch with your pain. I love how you use some remnants of bitterness to remind you of a road ahead free of all that crap. But most of all, I love how even knowing how afraid you are of silence, you dare stare into its eyes and break it, with your words of strong weakness, and fragile strength.
May your honesty keep shattering all the silence that scares you, may your silent thoughtfulness be at peace with the silence that may come to embrace you.. and give you comfort.
I love you, Rocky.
I enjoy this thought. We don't really know each other, maybe we met sometime, but we know a lot of the same people ; )
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